Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
