i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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