North Korea, Best Korea!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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