Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
