There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize