Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
