i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
