life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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