wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
His nipple licking is glorious
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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