I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize