I don't remember. Are we still dating?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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