at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
