i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
