he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
love makes seman taste better
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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