when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize