One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
