Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
