Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
