I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
