Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
