If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
