i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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