so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Be still, my beating vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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