I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
cat food counts as protein by the way
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
