I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
