Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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