bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
