Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You have to summon your inner elephant
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize