it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
