There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
