i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
