Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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