You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
