A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
