p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
