ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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