Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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