toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
