tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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