I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
