You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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