He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
