His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
