Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
