I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
