i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
