Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
