there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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