I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
