Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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