the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
