I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
