dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
