You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
