I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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