And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
