I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
