check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
