Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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