Swine flu. Run for my life!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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